Just One More Day

There are times when I think back on what I had and wish I could relive those moments again. I think of him walking through the front door, giving me kisses and hugs, making me feel like a queen, as if he worshipped the ground I walked on.

I think of all those mornings I'd wake up and there he was, lying next to me with a smile... quietly tracing my face. I realized then he had watched over me as I slept, making me feel safe. As if all the monsters in my nightmares were fought off with his sweet love.

I wish I could turn back time and extend those seconds with him. Moments that were just for us. The alone moments, the together moments, the sweet nothing moments, the long walk moments, the deep talk moments. All those little, and yet monumental moments that are now priceless. Seconds, minutes, hours... wonderful memories that today I wouldn't trade for a million dollars.

It's amazing how little we cherish those moments when we do have them.

If I could have one day filled with all those precious moments... I'd be happy... even if it was for just -one more day.


© 2011 Ellie Kings
Art by Joey Remmers

Dear God

Dear Abba
i have no where to hide
no where to run
but inside
the palm of your hand
the only place i feel safe
where the world is quiet
where each breath i take
is exhaled  by you



Abba
i feel lost
and i wanted to tell you
in case you hadn't noticed
maybe you were too busy
to hear your daughter's cry

Dear Adonai
have you left me
today i cannot find you
even though i've tried
come back, be near me
and stay with me awhile
i'm not strong enough Adonai
to face another day
to win another battle
to wear this heavy coat

Abba
can you hear me
from the throne you're in
or are you too far away
i just wanted to tell you
i need you more than ever
i can't do this on my own
please don't leave me today
stay with me until tomorrow

© 2011 Ellie Kings
Art in google images

Me Isn't Here Anymore

I don't recognize Me
Me isn't here anymore
not in the house
not in the mirror
not in the inside of my soul



before the mirror
I only see
a stranger that replaced Me

I wish I could tell her to leave
that I don't need her anymore
her presence makes me uncomfortable
I wish she walked out the door

but she doesn't want to leave
she taunts me everyday
she makes me sad
she makes me angry
she takes my smile away

she robs me of the laughter
I had long ago
she steals my peace
she steals my grace
she stole who I was before

someday I will say to her
exactly what she needs to know
that I hate who she has made Me
that she's not welcomed anymore

that tomorrow will be the day
when she finally walks out the door
then I'll look in the mirror
I will see Me once more

and Me will be ... Beautiful


© 2011 Ellie Kings
Art by James Knowles

To Conquer Somewhere Else

my tongue is tied, I cannot speak
but if I could, I'd surely scream
out to the four winds... why?
why did you take him from my life?
before I got the chance to say
all my heart needed to say
that nothing else mattered more
than the love we had for each other

I didn't get to say goodbye
that word wasn't alive in our lives
I wonder did I show him love
did he know where my heart belong
did he know he didn't have to buy my heart
I'd hand it over free of charge
carefully, I'd cut it out
and tell him, "Love, here's my heart"
knowing him, he'd ask "why me?"
because he's the one God chose for me
because his flaws my eyes didn't see
for in them love runs wild and free

I'd tell him, I love you more
just the way you truly are
full of unconditional love
going the distance for my hugs
taking snapshots of my smiles
traveling the extra mile

I learned much from his walk
he taught me to stand strong and tall
he said, "get back up when you fall"
he said, "forgiveness tears down walls"
he was a soldier all the way
his armor tailored by God's hands
He took him home on that day
so he could conquer somewhere else


© 2010 Ellie Kings
Art by Jeff Haynie

When is Life Unjust?

When does life become unjust?

When you pray for a happy childhood- but hurt all the way. When you wait all your life to meet Prince Charming- and once you find him- you lose him. again and again. When you wait to wear the white dress- to only get the rug pulled from under. When you pray to have children- to only be called infertile.

At what point does life become unjust? When is it too late to be happy? Is it ever too soon? Should you expect the worst, in order, to hope for the best?

At what point do you block the last punch? When you're down, do you get back up and keep fighting? What do you do when you know your opponent is stronger? Life can hit you where it hurts- again and again. When does it become unjust? Is enough ever enough? 

 There are so many why's in life but never enough answers. Today we hope for a better tomorrow, but sometimes tomorrow never gets here. Or sometimes, your life is shorten without accomplishing all you set out to do. Or sometimes, the life you set out to live takes you down a dark road with no exit. Do you stay in the dark or walk back into the light? Do you hang up the gloves or continue to fight?

As much as I've been hurt in life, life itself continues to push me to fight. I don't know what tomorrow brings, but I do know I'll wait until tomorrow to find out. Because 'why worry about tomorrow, when today brings with it its own burden'? We know that 'It rains on the just as well as the unjust'.  That alone should be our warning. So when life pushes you, do yourself the favor and push back. What other choice do you have? 

When does life become unjust? If we stop asking, we might just get answers.

© 2011 Ellie Kings Art: The Boxer by Leffler Studio

The Girl who Lost Her Voice

there once was a little girl who lost her voice...

she searched for it in the oceans
she searched for it in the rivers
she searched above mountains
and through low valleys
but she couldn't find her voice
the little girl was lost in the forest of despair
and went searching for help
she spoke with a man and asked if he had seen her voice
but the man replied, "only you could find it"

she spoke to a woman

then a boy and a girl
but they all replied, "only you could find it"
the little girl walked back home in tears
because she couldn't find her voice
and with every step came a deeper sigh
'if only i could find it, i'd never let it go'
was all she cried

she climbed the stairs, opened the front door
sat on the chair, hands on her face
when she finally wiped her tears
she looked up and saw her voice

it was there,
just where she left it
it had been Home
all along


©2011 Ellie Kings
Art by Morteza Katouzian

Just One Word

How do you say what you need to say, when you can't find the words to say?

Today, is a hard day for me. Not because it's a special day but because it isn't. It's not an anniversary or a birthday or even a holiday (that I can think of). It's just another day. Another day without him. What do you say when you need to say so much, but nothing and everything seems to weigh on your heart?

Yet I write...

I write because I have to push myself to say ... something. Even if it's nothing. I write because the words are there, but I have to pull them slowly from inside- as if they're hanging at the end of a rope, hidden inside my heart (or mind) and it takes all of my strength to rescue them. Because I don't want them to die. Because I love words. They say so much. To think, that just one word can say much more than one can ever dream of.

Think of it. Think of one word. And then think of all the stories you can create with just that one word. Today, I think of "peace". Tomorrow - "hope". The day after that- "dream". There are so many beautiful words in the world. All I have to do is think of one. Each day. Every day. And just maybe, I'll be able to make stories out of all the beautiful words that I've been privileged in knowing. One day, I'll be able to open the door to a world of possibilities.

Today, I might just have only one word that I can think of, but tomorrow, that one word will be a story that will be written on the pages of a book.

Someday...


Other Links to follow:
Alone without My Words
Rescuing the Words

   

© 2011 Ellie Kings

Art: Forced Emotion by Lizzie Prusaczyk

A Lesson from Ant

essContinuing the lesson from Wednesday's post, I'm allowing God to heal me through Nature.

An army of ants worked all throughout the day, traveling back and forth to get pieces of food to take back to their colony. They're so tiny, yet the wisdom they possess amazes me. They work together, united strong, so that in the end- none of them should want for nothing.

I smiled watching two of them communicate with each other, as they carried their food. The piece of meal that seemed like a speck to me was apparently too heavy for one of them to carry, so she asked for help. I could just imagine their chat, "Hey, you think you could help me carry this, it's too much for me to bear."  "Sure thing, no problem." Amazingly, I watched as the other one helped her carry the tiny piece of bread, at least, I thought it looked like bread.

Just like Spider (Wednesday's post), I've also learned from Ant. She wasn't too proud to ask for help when she was carrying a load twice her size. She struggled at first on her own, but then realized she couldn't do it on her own. Ant could've said it one of two ways; calmly "I need help with this load, could you do me the favor and lend a hand?" or wailing, "Please, help me! I really can't carry this one on my own. I need help!" 

But what if she hadn't asked for help, what would've happened? I'm no expert on ants. Maybe, another would've helped voluntarily but on the other hand, would she have been stuck there on her own? 

I admire Ant. She and her friends are no more different than us. We, too, carry a heavy load on a daily basis. The question is, are we too proud to ask for help when we need it? Do we wait there with a bleeding heart until someone volunteers to help along the way?

Take a moment to reflect upon all that you carry and ask yourself if you need help. Then ask your family or a good friend. Sometimes they might surprise you.  I'll admit that when I lost my other half, the last thing I wanted was someone to help. All I wanted was him. I wanted to bury myself in his clothes, his things, his love. But that wouldn't have been healthy for me, so like Ant I finally screamed, "I need help! I really can't do this on my own."

And I got the help from my family as well, as from you. I just wanted to say, thanks again for being there and for being the ear to a voice that's trying to come back to me.

If I haven't said it lately, I really do love having you all as my friends.

Apparently, God thinks Ant is important too.
"Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest." Proverbs 6: 6-8
{a little harsh, but a powerful message}


© 2010 Ellie Kings
Italics from my Journal

Art in Google images

A Lesson from Spider

For a few weeks now, I've been keeping a close eye on a small spider that builds her home outside on the porch. It uses the plants that are hanging above the railing to construct her home, connecting her web from one plant to the other. I noticed her the more when my younger brother and his wife watched as she weaved her web one night.

Spider is brilliant and all so very patient. The heavy rains and loud wind have knocked down her beautiful home many times, but she continues to rebuild it. I'm learning a valuable lesson from Spider and her untouchable patience.

Hurricane Earl hit this week and it brought with it storms of rain and furious winds, though it didn't do too much damage. I'm getting used to the rain. It seems it rains even in my dreams.

I enjoy Puerto Rico. My heart feels less heavy here, besides it's nice to be on an island that keeps well-guarded the secret of the Rain dancing around the Sun.

Hurricane Earl came close- the next morning there were branches everywhere; the trees were wet and droopy. The winds blew the tarp above the aluminum table into the bushes of the garden. The dogs barked through the night, a little more than usual. But their bark was also blown with the wind.

It was a rough night, not only for the animals in the barn but for me, as well. Amazingly, indoors was very quiet. The electricity was out. And in the silence of the night, I could hear a mosquito flying around in my room; at least I thought it was a mosquito. One can never tell with so many little critters that roam the night, including spiders. But I've especially grown fond of this spider.

A few days later, after the hurricane passed, I remembered Spider. I thought for sure she and her home were washed away with the storm. But I was wrong. I don't know where she hid or how she survived, but I do know one thing, she was still alive.

I had just stepped outside to welcome the evening splendor. The sky wore a stunning pink and blue dress. It was absolutely breath-taking. As I sipped my afternoon coffee, my eyes scanned the green of the mountain tops in all their glory, when I saw her- my tiny Spider, my inspiration, my little hope.

As fragile as she seems, Spider has taught me a most needed lesson in life. She's small but tough and hard-working. She never gives up or loses hope, even when storms and hurricanes hit and destroy her home. She hides when she needs to take cover, but faces the day after the storm. She pursues her dream of having a good home, even if she has to rebuild it over and over again. And when she does rebuild, Spider builds it even bigger than the last. Once she's done, it's no longer a house but a mansion. I watched her weaving her web endlessly and never stopped until she was completely finished. Wow! Now that's an impressive lesson.

I should walk with Spider more often, be more like her, keep rebuilding again and again when the storms of life tear down my home and wash it away. I should hold onto my faith, hide when I need to take cover and face the day after the storm. My next home will surely be bigger than the last, God willing.




© 2010 Ellie Kings
Excerpt from my Journal

Art 'Spider Fairy' by the talented Ria Spencer. Please visit her blog to see more amazing paintings.
 Ria's Fine Art Studio

Sunshine in the Dark

This New Year has brought with it a mix of emotions; a new hope, a breath of air, a ray of sunshine. I miss my sweetheart, though somehow I feel comforted; most days anyway. Everyday I convince myself that he really is gone, that I have to learn to live again, and learn to smile once more.


I never imagined a world without him, and since he left, my life hasn't been the same. Who's going to finish my sentences and read my thoughts? Who's going to bring me coffee in the mornings or take care of me when I'm sick? Who's going to make me laugh when I'm sad or make me cry with a birthday card? Who's going to hug me while I'm doing the dishes or give me morning kisses? Who's going to motivate me to continue writing or listen to my new song?


His nurturing love was priceless. His contagious laugh was unforgettable. His old soul was unique. I shall never forget him or the way he made me feel, truly loved.


This New Year I dedicate it to him. I vow to remember who he was as a human being and as my best friend. I vow to do what I must do to continue the fight and learn to live with purpose. I vow to allow God to continue doing what He does best, make miracles. Because it's going to take a miracle to heal from this one.


I want to thank each one of you who have kept in touch this past year, who have taken a moment from busy schedules to let me know you care. Thank you for your sweet words and cyber hugs. I want to thank my family and friends for encouraging me, for crying with me and for reminding me that I'm still needed here. I want to thank my Daddy, God, for staying close to me, holding my hand and gently leading me out of the dark.

God bless you all dearly,

Ellie

PS. If I should sound morbid at any given time, please remind me of my vows.

Love's Death

sometimes it's hard to breathe

why can't i just break free?

be all alone and cry

'till the last tear has dried

until my heart feels less heavy

'till my chest doesn't hurt

until the waters have washed

the fear of being cursed

... of never being happy

of losing all my hope

of needing and not having

of loving and what for?

i know God isn't cruel

but this feels cruel to me 

maybe it's a joke 

and the joke is on me

Love's death is surreal

he isn't going to return

he's really gone forever

and forever seems too long

Love forgot to say goodbye

as I remain waiting

he went missing through the night

and i didn't even know it

wasn't he among friends?

who was his enemy?

who swiped his life away

and caved a hole this deep

Love took his last breath

as he lay there bleeding

and written in his blood

was the love of God and me

you're free, my sweet Love

don't worry about me

God will sit by my bed 

until i've fallen asleep

until i've stopped humming our song

'till i've stepped into my dreams

when you're alive again

when you're alive with me

where your death is the dream

and the dream is what's real

when you're no longer asleep

and your heartbeat i hear

let me stay here, sweet Love

for a little while longer

let me sing to you again

and hold you in my arms

show you that i love you

see your eyes once more

tell you that i've missed you

that your death is all wrong

...come back... don't leave

i can't wake up now

to the light and the truth 

that my Love is truly gone

let me stay here in your world

where the wind blows free

in our garden of white roses

let's relive our memories

by Ellie Kings

copyright May 2010

art by Allyson Ricketts

Forever and a Day

You are the one...

the one who kneels under heaven
and asks, 'why am I here?
The one who's smile is a simple reflection
of a life filled with laughter, love, joy, and peace
You are the one who in time and past lives
secured a space in the deepest part of my heart
The one who captivates me with a smile each day

The one who loves me just the way I am
I will love you... forever and a day

These words were written in May of this year by my soulmate and love of my life, Nathan.  He was killed on Dec 20th. I'm heartbroken and lost without him. Even as I write, I feel like I'm in a horrible nightmare and I'm going to wake up and he's going to be here with me.  He loved me more than anyone in this world.  It was a once in a lifetime kind of love.  He was my very best friend and the sunshine of my day.  His love was pure and unconditional.  He respected me and treated me as his Queen.  He was planning a surprise wedding next year.  I learned of his plans from his friends. 

A part of me is confused, angry, hurt and well, there are no words.  All I know is that he was so proud of me for starting this blog and enjoyed my talk of all of you.  He loved reading your comments and had good laughs with some of your posts. I knew he would want me to post this. 

This post is dedicated to the memory of his neverending love for me and the love I will forever hold in my heart for him. Please keep me and his family in your prayers so God can give us the strength to overcome this great loss.  I take comfort in the knowledge that his soul is in a better place, although I miss him dearly.  The funeral is on Thursday.  Thank you all in advance for your warm thoughts and prayers.

For those of you who haven't read our love story, you can read Finding Each Other One Last Time Pt.I and Pt.II

I'm sure you can all understand, I will not be posting for a while.  As much as I want to hide away alone, give up and let it all go, I know in my heart that that's not what he would've wanted. I will return, but I don't know when.  

Much love,

Ellie

*art by joey remmers

Stop Beating

(This is a slow to fast beat piece)


Still alive…

Still my heart is beating; even though there are times when I wish it would just stop!

Stop beating… I tell my heart 

Stop beating, I want to be with my God

Stop beating, help me stop hurting 

Stop beating, help me stop crying

Stop beating, so there’s no pain- no more feeling

Only numbness left behind

The sleep of peace is all I ask for

Did you hear me, old foolish heart of mine?

Stop beating, I say to you my ruthless heart; don’t you see I’m tired of crying out

Stop beating you blood-thirsty heart surrounded by vessels and walls of tissue to protect you from the harms and pains this body endures

Stop beating, I tell this wicked heart of mine who disobeys, strays away, grows rebellious and justifies itself with the “I-am-in-control-of-this-body”…

Knowing if it wasn’t for its pumping-thumping-pounding… this body would crash and cave in

Stop beating, I tell this crazy heart of mine who wants to disobey my voice and do not my will, but God’s

Stop beating, so I could lay my head and never wake to the light of a new day

Stop beating, so I don’t have to go through the daily motions of where I’ve been, where I am headed and what the future brings

Collapse, you selfish heart!

Thinking you’re in control of my life

Thinking you’re going to keep me alive...
When all I want to do is forsake this skin and die!

Why should I live in a world that is out of control?

Suffering the pains of past mistakes and failures

Fighting the could’ve, should’ve battles

This monster of a heart grows in me like Goliath, who will not quit but fight

Thinking in the end, he will win the war

You see just like Goliath you’ll be defeated, in the end you’ll die

 I can’t wait for that day when you’re hit against the head and fall to your destruction

But you tell me that time is on your side…That the moment hasn’t come for you to stop pounding

That the choice is not yours
You have a higher Master who started your ticking and gave you a time to stop

You say He told you not to quit or stop breathing even if I pleaded you to stop

Even if you heard my cries, like an echo carried through pulses of veins, screaming out …

I beg you to stop! For I can’t bear the pain

I beg you stop! For I can’t see in darkness

I beg you…please stop! There’s nothing to live for

Stop beating! I command you… let me go in peace

Stop beating … let me rest from the troubles of this world

Don’t you know? My time is up; this life is much too long

Please let me go be with my God

If you should hear such a cry, oh convoluted heart of mine

Why don’t we make a bargain and you just let me die!

But your response is not to my surprise

You tell me that Your Master sends messages traveling through my veins

It’s the blood you tell me… It’s His blood that runs to me…

Roaming through your body, going straight to what you call me…heart

You see I cannot listen, even in your begging; for there are things

you must endure, in spite of all the pain

It’s through much suffering and tears that you come close to God

So don’t ask me to stop beating, for HE commands me to remember that specific time

When He made you, He hovered over me and whispered a set date and time

When I was to stop ticking and thumping and pumping the blood of the One who chose to die…

Not from all your suffering but because He himself became the Bruised

Through grief, He wrapped himself in the entire affliction and oppression of the world

and took it to his death so that you may now continue living

You see, I cannot stop beating because I hold in memory your time just like I held His time of death

But you and I both know that He was special so I had to start pumping up again

And if I were to tell you this, said the heart to me, you’d probably think it crazy

I am only the pump that beats in the cavity of your chest and keeps your physical body alive

The real element here, holding the seat to your emotions…the root of all your sorrows;

Your pain, anger and frustration; your hurt, misery, and tears… is actually the Mind!

Where all of your memories remain…the thing that haunts you and feeds you fear

So if you’re looking for someone to blame or a solution to your problem

don’t order me to stop beating but give command to your mind to stop thinking!

For the heart of man is deceiving, who can know it says the Lord

Think how it can be possible for the heart to be deceiving when it doesn’t have a brain of its own 

So I say again… speak to your mind and tell it to die from all the past pains you’ve endured

so that we may both live together and do the work of the Lord…

You see, you are not finished yet! I keep hearing God say to you

For when your destiny is complete…your heart and mind will know the truth

To stop ticking like a clock that has served its purpose and lived the span of its lifetime

They’ll both say to you … No more!

The hands of the clock will no longer tell time, they will never give the hour passed your counted days, weeks, months or years to come… for your time on Earth has ended

But until that time arrives and God, Himself gives word

Learn to live … and please sing me a new song, for I am sick of your request

Tell me that you are happy and full of greater joy… smile at me on this day and the next

Say I, your Heart to thee…for I have not stopped beating… like you once ordered me!

Copyright © 2003 Ellie Kings

Note: This Spoken Word piece birthed out from the darkness I spoke of in my last post.  Please excuse grammatical errors.  It’s merely for the benefit of my performance. Also, Blogger gave me difficulties getting it to look the way it should.

Art by Madalina Iordache

Can You Hear Me?

Our burden is heavy.  Our baggage weighs much.  The things that once made us laugh no longer do.  We walk the path of the heavy laden.  We carry burdens that keep us bound.  We suppress anger.  We walk into our dark room and shut the door behind.  We seek relief, but relief doesn't live here anymore.   

The prayer wick is dimming.  The candle is almost out and fear creeps in just like it did before.  You know, when we were younger and were afraid of the dark. When we were naïve and didn't know the boogie-man wasn't real. When we felt helpless and utterly alone with no one to save us from darkness. 


Now that we're all grown up, should we still be afraid of the dark?  Should we still feel helpless?


These were my thoughts when I was fighting depression a few years back.  I couldn't understand how a cheerful, bubbly person like me could go from bouncing off walls and slaying dragons, so to speak, to staring out my window with a dazed look on my face.  It was as if I was hypnotized.  I could actually see myself floating over my body, yelling at myself, "Wake up! Wake up! Get out of the dark! You have much to do! You have to live!"  But I was deaf to my own voice. 


As the months went by, I grew lethargic and weary.  My muscles ached all the time.  I couldn't sleep at night and had difficulty getting out of bed during the day.  I suffered crying spells, migraines, anxiety, loss of appetite, and couldn't concentrate on anything.  I wanted to crawl in a hole and simply die.  I didn't want to end it myself, but I did welcome death with open arms.


Silence choked my voice.  My song died.  My dance slumped.  All I wanted to do was scream!!! with every fiber of my soul.  Scream!!! loud enough until my voice was heard.  Scream!!! until I returned to me.  But no one heard and no one cared.  They were all too busy to really see.
  

Still my soul peeked out through tiny windows of my eyes, my hands on the bars of my prison and whispered in anguish...

...Can you hear me?  ... Can you hear me?

Have you been here?  When the burdens feel too heavy to carry? When your voice is not heard?  When you search for rest but can't seem to find it?  If you listen closely, you'll understand that the Lord wants to exchange our burdens for his yoke.  


"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Mat 11:28-30 NIV 


When I traveled that path, if nothing else, all I heard was the Word of God resonating in my ears.  His comforting words speaking life back into me.  He breathed his peace over me, everyday...slowly... until I actually felt him close once more.  Until He had become Real to me again. 

When you find yourself lost in darkness and can't seem to find your way back, allow Him to walk you back into the light.  Allow Him to breathe life back into you.  And understand that even if no one else hears you when your soul screams out or simply whispers... Can you hear me?  God hears... He knows... He sees. 


Copyright © 2009 Ellie Kings 
Photo by Joseph Hicklin
Art by Alexandra Louie and Bill Stephens

Vengeance vs Justice

:~:

Many of us have suffered injustice at some point of our lives, whether it's by someone we know or a complete stranger.  They've hurt us with their vicious words, despicable acts, or fierce brutality.  When we least expect it, we become their victim.  We endure a loss.  We lose our innocence, self-respect, and our will to live.  We are vulnerable to the fear they instilled in us.   Fear now wears their face.


The hands of time move forward but our memory is frozen in the moment.  We dwell on their vile whispers and remember their smug faces.  After a while, our anger erupts like a volcano and we seek revenge.  We think of the many others who will be spared if we avenge it now.  We convince ourselves that vengeance and justice amount to the same thing.


But we are not called to take vengeance.  We've been called to seek justice.  Although there is a fine line between them and they resemble each other, there is a difference.  Vengeance is a harmful action against the individual(s) in response to a grievance; while, justice implies actions undertaken and supported by a legitimate judicial system, by a system of ethics.  Revenge works outside the boundaries of judicial or ethical conduct.  The goal of revenge usually consists of forcing the (perceived)wrongdoer to suffer the same or greater pain than that which was originally inflicted.*


Let us not deceive ourselves.  Revenge will not make us feel better.  It will not help us bury the past.  It will only bandage the wound while it really needs to breathe.  Justice,  on the other hand, is the ointment for the pain.  It will heal us in time.  In the end, it will give us the satisfaction that we didn't raise a finger against the person, yet they were brought to justice all on their own.  Be it in a courtroom by a judicial system or an intervening Higher Power, someday the heinous act(s) they committed will be avenged.  Not by us but by the God who loves us so much,  He makes everything come to a full circle.  "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written: Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Romans 12:19


In my last post, I spoke of wrongs that were done against me and some of the things I survived.  It took much courage on my part to write that post  (I thank you all for your warm response).  I debated if I should be so open with you all, but then realized we are called to minister healing onto others.  We are God's ambassadors, appointed to carry the torches of  love, truth and peace.  Not repaying anyone evil for evil but we are to overcome evil with good.


After all, only God knows and only God can.  We continue to hold onto our faith and allow Him to do what He does best.  He will pull us out of the fire and though sometimes there are scars left behind, we survive.  We live on knowing sooner or later, He will avenge our pain and heal our wounded hearts.  Justice will prevail.

:~:

Copyright © 2009 by Ellie Kings
Art by Jim Murphy
*notes from Wikipedia