Sunday, January 30, 2011

Sunshine in the Dark

This New Year has brought with it a mix of emotions; a new hope, a breath of air, a ray of sunshine. I miss my sweetheart, though somehow I feel comforted; most days anyway. Everyday I convince myself that he really is gone, that I have to learn to live again, and learn to smile once more.

I never imagined a world without him, and since he left, my life hasn't been the same. Who's going to finish my sentences and read my thoughts? Who's going to bring me coffee in the mornings or take care of me when I'm sick? Who's going to make me laugh when I'm sad or make me cry with a birthday card? Who's going to hug me while I'm doing the dishes or give me morning kisses? Who's going to motivate me to continue writing or listen to my new song?

His nurturing love was priceless. His contagious laugh was unforgettable. His old soul was unique. I shall never forget him or the way he made me feel, truly loved.

This New Year I dedicate it to him. I vow to remember who he was as a human being and as my best friend. I vow to do what I must do to continue the fight and learn to live with purpose. I vow to allow God to continue doing what He does best, make miracles. Because it's going to take a miracle to heal from this one.

I want to thank each one of you who have kept in touch this past year, who have taken a moment from busy schedules to let me know you care. Thank you for your sweet words and cyber hugs. I want to thank my family and friends for encouraging me, for crying with me and for reminding me that I'm still needed here. I want to thank my Daddy, God, for staying close to me, holding my hand and gently leading me out of the dark.

God bless you all dearly,


PS. If I should sound morbid at any given time, please remind me of my vows.


Noelle said...

Oh Ellie, so glad you are back and I love the hope I hear in your words. You are a truly amazing woman. May God gently guide you through this year and continue to bless you with the love and kindness you deserve.


Anonymous said...

It is great you have returned. I hope you continue to find light in the darkness.

Take good care.

Wine and Words said...

My best friend lost her husband last year. I have sat with her inside these very feelings. She mourns, and will continue to mourn. It is a long arduous path...the mourning. But look now, I hear hope in your words!

Thank you for stopping by my blog!


dianne said...

Ellie dear, it is lovely to see you back here.
I hope you get your miracle and you will find the peace and calm within yourself so that you can think of your beautful man and all he meant to you without feeling all of the loss and hurt.
There is light to be found amongst the darkness and I hope it will guide you and make each day brighter for you.
God bless you sweet girl.

xoxoxoxo ♡

Jenny Stevning said... is so big. Don't know what to say.
It is so wonderful to see you posting.
Love. Hugs. Breathe...
And God says, "Bring it to me..."

Anonymous said...

I have often thought of you during the year since your loss dear Ellie. I am glad to see your words here again. I pray for your continued strength and support as you journey through this dark path in your life. May the light of God's love gently guide you through the darkness. Take care dear one, sending a warm hug your way :)


SarahA said...

With God walking beside you and holding your hand, you can not go far wrong. Time, you. Just time. Time and tears the healers of all wounds. Physical and emotional.
Thoughts and Prayers.

Susan R. Mills said...

It's so nice to see you around here again. I've been thinking a lot about you. I'm so happy you have found a new sense of hope. I will continue to pray for you.

Craftsman of light said...

Simply wonderful to see you,Ellie!

Kristen Torres-Toro said...

Ellie... I've thought about you often. So glad to read you again... Praying for you.

Tabitha Bird said...

ELLIE!!!! I am so glad you are back. May this new year be a wonderful blessing to you. Huge hugs from me :))

~Ellie Kings~ said...

Thank you all for your warm welcome. It's good to know that I've been missed.

Wine & Words- so sorry to hear about your friend and her loss. Please let her know that it does get easier to deal with the pain as time goes by.

Roxy- hey babygirl, I need a VIP Invite to your blog. :D

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you are having the desire to learn to live again and to smile again. Sometimes life can throw us for a serious loop and sometimes it takes time to be able to even want to get back up. It is true that what does not kill you makes you stronger and even if in your very soul you just lay there for a while, just know that in time God will help you to get back up! I am so very glad that he is helping you to get back up Ellie and I am so proud of you for continuing to keep on keeping on! :o)

Donna B said...

Ellie, nice to have you back. Thank you for visiting me and for following.

Your writing is really good. Very creative and descriptive. Stay with it. Be like your spider and never give up. You need to be published. You have so much to say.

Bless you Ellie. I know how difficult it is to go on after the loss of a great love... From what I have read, you are a strong woman, and you will survive and be even stronger for it.

Holly_D said...

You inspire me and I am grateful to hear that the new year has brought you new hopes/beginnings-that God truly never does leave nor forsakes us.

Steve E said...

When it is time to rebuild my house--or my life--I shall recall this 'spider' story. In fact, at daybreak I will look outside to see if there is one I might 'follow'.
Thank you.