Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Just One Word

How do you say what you need to say, when you can't find the words to say?

Today, is a hard day for me. Not because it's a special day but because it isn't. It's not an anniversary or a birthday or even a holiday (that I can think of). It's just another day. Another day without him. What do you say when you need to say so much, but nothing and everything seems to weigh on your heart?

Yet I write...

I write because I have to push myself to say ... something. Even if it's nothing. I write because the words are there, but I have to pull them slowly from inside- as if they're hanging at the end of a rope, hidden inside my heart (or mind) and it takes all of my strength to rescue them. Because I don't want them to die. Because I love words. They say so much. To think, that just one word can say much more than one can ever dream of.

Think of it. Think of one word. And then think of all the stories you can create with just that one word. Today, I think of "peace". Tomorrow - "hope". The day after that- "dream". There are so many beautiful words in the world. All I have to do is think of one. Each day. Every day. And just maybe, I'll be able to make stories out of all the beautiful words that I've been privileged in knowing. One day, I'll be able to open the door to a world of possibilities.

Today, I might just have only one word that I can think of, but tomorrow, that one word will be a story that will be written on the pages of a book.

Someday...


Other Links to follow:
Alone without My Words
Rescuing the Words

   
© 2011 Ellie Kings
Art: Forced Emotion by Lizzie Prusaczyk

15 comments:

Steve E said...

Yep! Those words await rescue, my dear. And you can do it, Help them escape their bondage.

But maybe not alone do this. Consider enlisting the help of a dear friend, your Higher Power, or the 'force'.

PEACE!
Sleep well tonight...God will be awake.....

Steve E said...

Forgot to remind you: Remember how the ants communicated? You are doing that!

Now, allow yourself to be helped by someone you know. Isn't friendship marvelously spiritual?
PEACE

Craftsman of light said...

i'd like to cheer you up,

Yet, i know you must go through all the phases you need to go through....You descibe very well your inner occurings....

Life is before you with its gifts hoping you 'll take it!

You're are a girl with so many voices and so many resources.

dianne said...

You are going through all of the phases of mourning and it is good to find these words within and let out all of the hurt.
I hope that one day in the near future that you can think of your loved one without all of the hurt and loneliness. I know that you have lost so much but don't forget that you are the other living part of a love that was so special, so shared and was in itself two people as one and you must go on and find strength in the beautiful memories that you once shared.
Love, Dianne. xoxoxo ♡

Jenny Stevning said...

love

Tammi said...

Dear Ellie,
Just came online and saw your dear face as a follower along with me on my blog. Thank you. I've been reading here and wanted to tell you how very sorry I am for your recent loss. When I lost my 22 year old sister suddenly (1997) it seemed like I was in a state of shock, then after about 2 months, the Lord began to slowly peel the layers of "shock" off--one layer at a time...and, like the layers of an onion, with each layer of shock removed, tears would come as reality slowly began to replace shock. I'm praying for you. When the words wouldn't come for me, to even pray, all I could do was cry out HELP. Then the Lord gave me this: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 He helped me cling to that verse like a life-preserver. My heart was shattered and my spirit was crushed beneath the weight of the grief. Try to cling to the promise that the Lord is close to you..and He will save your crushed spirit.
Love,prayers and deepest sympathy,
Tammi

Noelle said...

Keeping you in my prayers Ellie. Hang in there, my dear.

Matthew said...

I know this feeling so well and lately after nearly a decade of "pushing" I feel so tired to write. You have inspired me to try again and I am grateful. Take care.

Terresa said...

Words can be elusive, when they come to me, I write them as fast as I can gather them.

Susan R. Mills said...

Just keep getting through one day at a time... one word at a time. Thinking of you.

Tabitha Bird said...

Oh Ellie! That was beautiful. Hang in there, Hon :)

Love the look of your blog btw.

darkestblue said...

words that come from one's heart are the best words to write... the most beautiful, the most expressive ones

Maria I. Morgan said...

You're a talented writer, Ellie! In the midst of your pain, the Lord is using you to be an inspiration to others. Love the verse that Tammi shared from the Psalms - continuing to pray that God's grace will lead you forward one day at a time! Love and Hugs!

Girl in My Own World said...

Awwww, Ellie this was so beautiful and I can relate to your emotion though my circumstances are different. Yes, just one word at a time and the one day you will look up and find a great big beautiful book that will be all yours! Yay! Have a beautiful weekend my dear! xoxo! :o)

Shelley Whiting said...

That artwork reminded me a lot of my childhood. I felt every time that I tried to talk about about anything, an adult wouldn't listen just because I was little. Also as a child you don't have a full identity yet so you are literally trying to find your voice. The painting is very somber. The dark blue and the beautiful dark tones really make this painter somber and moody.
I love how the girl fades into the background. The poem also serves as a good introduction to the painting.