Friday, February 25, 2011

Me Isn't Here Anymore


I don't recognize Me
Me isn't here anymore
not in the house
not in the mirror
not in the inside of my soul



before the mirror
I only see
a stranger that replaced Me

I wish I could tell her to leave
that I don't need her anymore
her presence makes me uncomfortable
I wish she walked out the door

but she doesn't want to leave
she taunts me everyday
she makes me sad
she makes me angry
she takes my smile away

she robs me of the laughter
I had long ago
she steals my peace
she steals my grace
she stole who I was before

someday I will say to her
exactly what she needs to know
that I hate who she has made Me
that she's not welcomed anymore

that tomorrow will be the day
when she finally walks out the door
then I'll look in the mirror
I will see Me once more

and Me will be ... Beautiful


© 2011 Ellie Kings
Art by James Knowles

20 comments:

dianne said...

Ellie dear that is so sad, that part of you which is hurting so much is making you feel this way, you are still the same girl who has experienced this tragedy, it has left some very deep wounds which will take a long time to heal and there will always be scars my sweet friend but you will find yourself again and be able to feel whole and happy once again.
Love, Dianne. xoxoxo ♡

Matthew said...

I hope you find peace Ellie, take good care.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Aww, Ellie, your poem is so sad and so moving.
Praying for you.

Craftsman of light said...

Ellie,
Your poem makes me silent, each line wriggling out from hurtful supplications, but somehow i feel a path will open....

Besides know that you don't have to ask to be beautiful again....YOU are beautiful!
What is in you is beautiful!

hugs
col.

nb: thanks for that sweet comment you left,dont know how i ,missed it out, they mean a lot to me.

Holly_D said...

This is touching and bears so much feeling. I have to echo what Craftsman of light said, you ARE beautiful.

Tana Adams said...

You have the power to evoke such amazing images. You are truly gifted and beautiful.

Lori said...

This is a very powerful poem, Ellie. It sounds like a magical invocation.

Karen Walker said...

Ellie, I just found you from the comment you left on my blog. I can only echo what others have already said. The pain in you is speaking here. But I do know from my own experiences that it will ease, in its own time and in its own way. And writing was the thing that helped me move through that process.
Blessings,
karen

Sharon K. Mayhew said...

Ellie...a wonderful moving poem. I've been there too. I think writing poems about those times helps you get through them. I wrote a poem about the moment someone died. I was in the room with them. It was something I will never forget...writing the poem gave me a sense of closer.

(hugs)

Donna B said...

Time is the welcome healer...yet love floats far and wide, traveling so slowly...

Your feelings are so powerful and your talent so great.

Hugs to you dear one...please stop by my blog...I have something for you.

Donna B said...

Actually,there is something on both my blogs for you...

Noelle said...

My heart breaks when I read this...I am sending you my best thoughts and hugs dear one.

Donna B said...

Where are you sweet Ellie? I am concerned. Sending you hugs and love.

Craftsman of light said...

Sending you today's morning sunshine!
col

~Ellie Kings~ said...

Thank you all for your hugs, love and sunshine. I'm taking a little break from blogging. I'll be back as soon as I feel up to it again.

niafansuri said...

You take care dear Ellie.

Mario said...

Hi Ellie, I stumbled across your blog and wanted to say hello. I am from California. I want to say that I am sorry for your loss. What a journey you have been on. thank you for sharing your self through your precious words. It's a rare peek into your soul. Those that love deeply also hurt deeply at loss. You are a special person and I love that you sense the comfort of God in your life. Shalom.

Donna B said...

Sending you love and hugs. Hope you are well. Remember to email me if you need to talk...((((hugs))) and blessings.

sartorial diary said...

that's a beautiful poem!

http://thesartorialdiary.blogspot.com/

Khadisha said...

Ellie, i really like your poem, it's very creative but i'm sorry that you feel this way and yes...one day your heart will be completely healed and i pray it's so great that your poems will be drowning in love. I do write a bit of poetry myself, just using the gift that God gave me. And remember that Jesus is a continuous Light when life seems so Dark.