Tuesday, October 20, 2009

CAN WE START OVER

I’ve done things I’m not too proud of Abba. I’ve run away from you far too many times. Is it because I choose to be rebellious? Or is it because I’m afraid You might know best for me?

I’ve learned many lessons the hard way. My garments have gone from silk robes to filthy rags. I’ve lost the ring you gave me. I searched for it, I did, but Father I just never found it.

I also lost the inheritance you gave me when I left home. I know I asked for it on my way out.  I tried to make it out there on my own. I tried not to waste every cent on drugs or alcohol or even all the partying, but somehow after a few months, it was gone! All of it, all of it! And I found myself poor, hungry, and most of all … I was lost!

Many times I thought to myself of all the riches and the food and the joy and love that I had left behind with you. But I couldn’t bring myself to come back home. I couldn’t!

I mean, what would you think of me? Look at me, look how dirty I’ve become … You probably wouldn’t even recognize me. You’d probably think that I am a beggar off the streets. Oh Abba Father, what you must think of me now. I’m such a failure! I failed you Adonai. I didn’t mean to do it, but I did and I regret it.

I didn’t mean to end up in this condition. I had so many plans. I wanted to buy a big house and fill it with all the things I had back home, but that didn’t happen. I thought that my thoughts were like your thoughts and that my ways would be like your ways but somehow, somewhere … I lost my way! I lost everything!

I never got the house or the family. There was no room for happiness or love. I wasted the riches and I wasted time. But… I don’t want to waste time anymore! I want to come back home.


I know what I will do… I’ll try my best to hide what I’ve done. I’ll try to wash my filthy rags and make them look like new. And then, maybe, then you’ll welcome me back into your home and call me your daughter again.





There! That should do it… I look much better now.


I’m almost there… just a little further to go… just over that hill and I’m back home.

I think I see him now. Yes, that’s Him… that’s my Abba! I have to walk a little faster, maybe I should run…. I’ll run back into his arms and everything will be just fine.
Hi Abba,, Do you recognize me?
I mean, I know I’ve changed a lot but I washed up so I wouldn’t stink of sin in front of you. I didn’t want you to see me the way I really was. I didn’t want you to know that I was confused and that I forgot what you taught me. And how much you loved me. I didn’t want you to know that I had lost the ring you gave me or your riches.  And Abba, I didn’t want you to know that I had lost my way back home. I couldn’t remember… I just couldn’t remember the way.

I tried not to forget. But I met a lot of people who I called friends and I got involved with so many bad things: the alcohol, the drugs and the sex. They made me forget. Those things made me forget about You and of home, and about the love I felt when I was home.

Can you forgive me? Can you forget the things I’ve done? Has your love for me changed because I’ve done so much wrong? Oh Abba, Can I get another ring? I just want to belong to you again. Can I come back home? I’ve missed you so. Can we start over? I’d like to start over again! Can we? Can we start over?

Hi Abba, My name is Elizabeth, consecrated to you,  and I am your daughter… I belong to You and only You!



copyright © 2003 by Ellie Kings
Inspired by the Prodigal Son
Paintings by Joey Remmers

15 comments:

MeganRebekah said...

The first thing I thought of, at the beginning, was the story of the prodigal son! Job well done!

Kristen Torres-Toro said...

Hi, Ellie!

Thanks for coming by Write in the Way! It's nice to meet you!

Wow, Nigeria. Thanks for sharing about your trip! I love hearing about stuff like that. I never made it that far West. But you know too... that land just gets in your blood. I miss it so much!

Have a great day!

Susan R. Mills said...

Ellie,
That was so beautiful! I'm crying right now. It is so comforting to know that God will always welcome us back into his loving arms. Thanks for sharing this today.

Wendy Paine Miller said...

Ellie,

Wow. I love a woman's thought pattern with this. Powerful, brave and revealing. Authentic. Beautiful.

I like the pictures you choose, too.

BTW: Save the Last Dance for Me came on while I read this and that is one of my fav. songs!
~ Wendy

Anonymous said...

Awww, love this so much! So beautiful! So, I love this blog! Your music is so great! I will be around more often... life has made me a little busy. Anyhow, thanks so much for all of your comments on my blog! They really have helped! :o) xoxo!

Anonymous said...

Btw, I meant to tell you a while ago when I stopped by that I too live in Ohio. :o)

Unknown said...

Great post, Ellie! Isn't it so like us to think that we can clean ourselves up and God won't know that we've 'messed up'? He knows us so much better than we know ourselves, yet He loves us in spite of us!! Praise the Lord!

Ellie Kings said...

Thanks Ladies for all your lovely comments! Welcome Kristen and GirlIMOW, nice of you to stop in.

God definitely has been good to us... his arms always stretched wide to receive us with love and to lift us up when we stumble upon rocks.

Blessings to all of you for your kind words!

Tamika: said...

Wow. The Prodigal Daughter hits me right at heart. I am eternally grateful for Jesus's saving power, redeeming blood, and perfect love.

That was absolutely beautiful Ellie.

Ellie Kings said...

Thanks Tamika... so true... I am also eternally grateful to God for chasing after me! :)

Jody Hedlund said...

Beautiful rendition of the prodigal son and putting your life into the story!

Tabitha Bird said...

Love your personal version of the prodigal son. I guess we all have times when we need to return.

Ellie Kings said...

Thanks Jody & Tabitha! I must confess this rendition was not solely based on my personal experiences, I integrated two testimonies (my own & my sister's) into one character, Elizabeth. That idea came to me to make the piece more penetrating!

Anonymous said...

Funny how I just finished 'The Shack' by Wm Paul Young and then I click on my 'Blog' this morning and find you have become a follower of my Babies!Which in turn lead me here to this place, your space.You call God 'Daddy' and in 'The Shack' God is called 'Papa'. I am liking your words, you.Truth in the strength of them.

Ellie Kings said...

Thanks SarahA, I didn't see this comment till today. I've been pretty busy. The Shack sounds interesting to me already. note to self: buy The Shack. :)