Wasted Time

Have you heard my cry Lord? Have you heard my prayer?
You probably haven’t heard me because I haven’t yelled
I haven’t stood on a mountain top on a bright sunny day
To ask you if you’re listening to a word I say

My cries have been quiet when I really want to scream
My voice is broken; I can barely speak
My mind is overwhelmed by painful yesterdays
The future seems unclear and so far away

Your promises and my faith have intertwined somehow
They both are locked away in a time capsule
I can’t reach it; buried deep with remorse and despair,
Failures and sorrows that I dare not tell

How are you Lord? You seem far away
I reach out but I can’t find you anywhere I stay
I know you haven’t left me; I’m just too blind to see
That I’ve wasted time living only for me

I’m still walking in circles like Israel, years ago
I’m living without purpose; no clue of where to go
I feel I’ve wasted my life on complete foolishness
Things that do not matter; excuses unexplained

There was a time I saw you for who you really were
My healer, my provider, my best friend after all
But today is a day much like many others
Darkness everywhere, lost without a compass

Can you hear me Lord? Can you hear my muffled wail?
Is it too late to try and attempt this once again?
Stumbling and falling are a part of who I am
But I know that you are the tower of my strength

If you can hear my cry Lord, please answer speedily
Please remember I am your daughter and I want to be free
You must be tired of hearing the same dull prayer
But I beg you have mercy, your servant lost her way

Help me to see things for what they really are
Help me to remember that I’m special in your eyes
That no matter the time wasted or the ups and downs of life
You always will forgive; forget past mistakes & sins

I’m still here my Lord, waiting for your answer
Don’t give up on me just yet, there’s so much I can do
You can still stretch the hour to repair the damage made
And slow time just a little so I can catch up with the rest

Be good to me my Lord, although I don’t deserve it
You know my heart is yours, though I may not always show it
I know the clock is ticking and time is passing by
This is why I am desperate for a fast reply

Lord, please give me more time so I can fix what I’ve done
To produce the fresh fruit that is growing deep inside
The gifts you’ve given me I’ll no longer take for granted
Just give me back …please…the precious time I’ve wasted


copyright © 2009 by Ellie Kings