Friday, October 2, 2009

I Will Leave You Someday

Thump, thump, thump
Is the sound of my mother going down a flight of stairs dragged by her hair
Who cares… just another woman beat down, given up, abused by another man
Smack! Backslap! Right across the right cheek
Another black eye, sore back, broken arm… who’s counting
Arms folded behind back…. on the floor you go
She becomes the horse, He becomes the rider
Here we go again...

Loud screams echo through the house, drawing near the audience
Of the neighbors…Whispers right outside the door
Is it her…yes it's her…again? Undisputed curiosity killed the cat you know
Get the phone, call the cops…like its going to help
You know that she will not… write out that complaint
Tell her that she has to choose… life or death is in her hands
What will a woman do… whatever she will do

Loud banging at the door, here they are again
Mam are you ok? They say they heard the yells
Officer there’s nothing wrong; everything is swell
My man and I are talking… nothing else
Months and years go by…and not a thing has changed
But within her lies an awful, dormant rage
Come close to me, I’ll kill you, with a painted smile on face
Look at all the havoc and the pain that you have caused
My kids don’t even like me… anymore
I used to have their friendship; now all of that is lost
All because I let a nobody …in my home for safety
The irony… that from him I’d need protection

Heavy breathing, sleeping with the enemy
Can’t close my eyes, can't sleep... don’t wanna fall asleep
Gotta go, gotta run…gotta just get out
Tomorrow, this woman will be free
Of the abuse and the neglect, of the down right low self esteem
Tomorrow you’ll find the closet empty, the house vacant
You will hear the sound of nothing; not even a pin drop
I did say that I would leave you someday
You told me that day would never come

You thought me as a liar…as a woman scorned
Maybe scorned, but a liar, not by far
I will leave you someday… let me repeat the words
I will leave you someday…and if I stay it would only make things worse
After all these years, I should have done this long ago
Whatever was I thinking to keep myself in such a violent home?
And what about my babies, I feel so ashamed
They warned me about you… on that very first day
But on this day I am keeping the fullness of my word
I will leave you someday…and oh yes…Today is that someday!


In honor of my beloved mother
Commemorating Domestic Violence Awareness Month
copyright © 2004 by Ellie Kings

8 comments:

Lazy Writer said...

That's beautiful, Ellie. Let's see if your comment feature works. I'm giving it a try.

Lazy Writer said...

Yay! It works!

~~Ellie Kings~~ said...

Yup... and it's all thanks to you Susan. I was starting to think nobody liked me :)

Nathan said...

That's a very powerful piece Ellie I wish that everyone could actually see and hear you perform it,it touched and moved me in ways long forgotten. I too am a product of a violent home as a child, lucky my mother got out early.I truly believe that abusive men should be executed,castrated and put up for display as an example. WOW!!!

Tamika: said...

Oh, how beautiful! Thanks for sharing something so beautiful.

Blessings to you...

~Ellie Kings~ said...

Thanks for your comments. This is a very delicate subject for me, since I too survived it with my mother, b/c when she got hurt, I got hurt. Not so much with physical bruises as she did, but more emotional scars. Scars that a child should never have to grow up with. The 'eyes' witness much pain and retain those images many years later. Living in such a violent home leads to many troubles through life. It creates instability, fear, anger, guilt, blame, low-self esteem, troubles in relationships and more. I pray that no woman endures what my mother endured and that no child ever sees what my siblings and I saw. My faith is placed in a God that is an avenger of those who are unjustly harmed.

Mark said...

Ellie,
Your words are full of emotion and your writing very powerful. The blessing is that someday came to be. It is amazing how much one person can take in the name of fear and hope. This is important work, thank-you for sharing with all of us!

~Ellie Kings~ said...

Mark~ Thanks for stopping by! From my mother's experiences as well as my own, I agree with what you said ... You can't change someone; they must want to change from within.