Binding Fear

Though we care not to admit, most of us have felt some kind of fear one way or another: fear of rejection, of failure, the future, the unknown, new beginnings, endings, etc.  It doesn't matter if it's writing related or not... think of it.  Fear... it can be binding, can't it?  You think you've done all you can, but there is still so much more.  And you're afraid of ...?

I'm thinking of those righteous men of God who started off the same way; fearful! They all had a mission in life; though, some took years to realize that mission or purpose.  But God knew from the beginning! He knew exactly what He had deposited in each one of them and how much He would withdraw when the time was right.

When he told Abraham to leave his country and move into a strange land, if he had not gone with fear, perhaps his generations wouldn’t be as the stars. If Moses had not gone with fear, perhaps Israel would still be enslaved in Egypt. If Joshua had not gone with fear, the wall of Jericho would still be up. If Jonah hadn't finally gone with fear, the people of Nineveh would've been condemned.

God knew why He said, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be fearful; do not be discouraged, for I will be with you all the way."  Joshua 1:9 NIV 

If Jesus had let his fear stand in the way, we would still be slaves of Sin. Think of it, even our Lord was filled with fear. Did you really think our Lord wasn't afraid? It was his side of humanity.  “Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” Mat. 26:39    Just before his prayer he told his disciples, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” Mat. 26:38

In other words, Jesus felt alone, was afraid and pained to death while fulfilling His calling.  But he knew he had to do it, because He loved us that much. Think about it… the more we suffer, are confused, or fearful, the more we're on God's radar.  He has great plans laid out for each one of us.  He is in the midst of everything: in our family, friends, work, passions (including our writings).  Did Jesus run away from the will of God? Absolutely not!  He proceeded with fear.


So let us imitate Him.  Let us take up our cross (whatever burden or fear it be), seek the will of God,  pursue the passions of our heart and proceed with fear.  The road ahead might be dark and scary but let us not allow our fears to bind us any longer.  Let us trust in the God who conquered in spite of the fear!  After all, we are His children and we are more than conquerors in Him with whom all things are possible.

So at the end of this week, I leave you with this thought in mind:

What has been your biggest fear lately?
Have you allowed it to bind you and hold you back from accomplishing your purpose in life?

Wasted Time

Have you heard my cry Lord? Have you heard my prayer?
You probably haven’t heard me because I haven’t yelled
I haven’t stood on a mountain top on a bright sunny day
To ask you if you’re listening to a word I say

My cries have been quiet when I really want to scream
My voice is broken; I can barely speak
My mind is overwhelmed by painful yesterdays
The future seems unclear and so far away

Your promises and my faith have intertwined somehow
They both are locked away in a time capsule
I can’t reach it; buried deep with remorse and despair,
Failures and sorrows that I dare not tell

How are you Lord? You seem far away
I reach out but I can’t find you anywhere I stay
I know you haven’t left me; I’m just too blind to see
That I’ve wasted time living only for me

I’m still walking in circles like Israel, years ago
I’m living without purpose; no clue of where to go
I feel I’ve wasted my life on complete foolishness
Things that do not matter; excuses unexplained

There was a time I saw you for who you really were
My healer, my provider, my best friend after all
But today is a day much like many others
Darkness everywhere, lost without a compass

Can you hear me Lord? Can you hear my muffled wail?
Is it too late to try and attempt this once again?
Stumbling and falling are a part of who I am
But I know that you are the tower of my strength

If you can hear my cry Lord, please answer speedily
Please remember I am your daughter and I want to be free
You must be tired of hearing the same dull prayer
But I beg you have mercy, your servant lost her way

Help me to see things for what they really are
Help me to remember that I’m special in your eyes
That no matter the time wasted or the ups and downs of life
You always will forgive; forget past mistakes & sins

I’m still here my Lord, waiting for your answer
Don’t give up on me just yet, there’s so much I can do
You can still stretch the hour to repair the damage made
And slow time just a little so I can catch up with the rest

Be good to me my Lord, although I don’t deserve it
You know my heart is yours, though I may not always show it
I know the clock is ticking and time is passing by
This is why I am desperate for a fast reply

Lord, please give me more time so I can fix what I’ve done
To produce the fresh fruit that is growing deep inside
The gifts you’ve given me I’ll no longer take for granted
Just give me back …please…the precious time I’ve wasted


copyright © 2009 by Ellie Kings